I almost lost one of my best friends without knowing it.

Not to death, but to the silent killer of modern relationships: drifting apart.

When I finally called him after years of radio silence, I discovered he'd nearly died recently.

And I had no idea.

That conversation sparked something that would eventually become Soonly, but more importantly, it revealed a pattern that palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware had been documenting for years.

The Clarity That Comes Too Late

Ware spent her career with dying patients in their final 12 weeks. Person after person, she witnessed the same phenomenon, extraordinary clarity about what actually mattered.

Not their LinkedIn profile.
Not their bank balance.
Not their follower count.

Just five simple regrets that kept showing up:

1. I wish I'd lived my life, not theirs
   
   The number one regret? Playing someone else's game. Every unfulfilled dream traced back to one root cause: choosing safety over authenticity. The promotion you chased but didn't want. The city you stayed in for others. The creative project you buried because it wasn't practical. What if you started with one tiny rebellion weekly? Send that vulnerable text. Share that weird idea. Make that unconventional choice. Your real friends will love you more, not less.
   
   
2. I wish I hadn't traded my life for a paycheck
   
   Every male patient Ware nursed expressed this regret. They'd optimized for income and missed their kids growing up. They'd chosen overtime over date nights. Here's what they discovered too late: You need less money than you think, but more time than you'll ever have. The shift, relationships compound faster than interest rates. A 15-minute call today becomes a lifeline tomorrow.
   
   
3. I wish I'd spoken my truth
   
   People spend decades swallowing their feelings to keep the peace. The cost? They become strangers to themselves, and everyone around them gets a watered-down version. The plot twist: Authenticity doesn't destroy relationships. It reveals which ones were real to begin with.
   
   
4. I wish I'd stayed connected to my friends
   
   This one hits different because it's so fixable, until it isn't. In their final weeks, dying patients desperately tried tracking down old friends. Some succeeded. Many didn't. All regretted letting "busy" become their default excuse. The line that still haunts me: "Everyone misses their friends when they are dying." The Harvard Study of Adult Development (80+ years of data) confirms what the dying already know: Close relationships are the strongest predictor of happiness. Not wealth. Not achievement. Connection.
   
   
5. I wish I'd chosen joy
   
   The shocker, Happiness isn't something that happens to you. It's something you choose. Most people stay trapped in familiar misery rather than risk unfamiliar joy. They perform contentment while craving real laughter, real play, real aliveness.
   
   

The System That Changes Everything

Here's where traditional self-help fails, It gives you insights without infrastructure. You read about the five regrets. You feel moved. You promise to change. Then Monday happens, and you're back on autopilot.

That's why we built Soonly differently:

• Add the humans who matter
• Get gentle reminders (not guilt trips)
• Watch your relationships deepen without the heavy lift

No complex app to check. No social media performance. Just a text that says, "Hey, when did you last talk to Sarah?" And you either call Sarah or update when you did.

The Counter-Intuitive Truth About Connection

Most relationship advice focuses on quality time. Deep conversations. Perfect moments. But here's what we've learned from thousands of users: Frequency beats depth. A two-minute "thinking of you" text every month beats a three-hour catch-up every year.

Consistent micro-connections create the foundation for macro-moments when they matter. The friend who checks in regularly is the one you call during the crisis.

Your Move

The dying see clearly because they've run out of "somedays."

But you haven't.

You can text that friend right now. You can schedule that call today. You can choose authenticity over approval in your next conversation.

Or you can wait until your own 12-week countdown begins and hope you still have time to track everyone down.

The solution is simple. The choice is yours.

But here's what I know after helping thousands reconnect: One text a month becomes the friend who answers at 2am. Consistency creates depth. Small actions compound into unbreakable bonds.

Start with one name. One text.

Because the only regret worse than the five above is knowing about them and doing nothing.

Ready to never have the "I wish I had stayed in touch" regret? Soonly makes authentic connection automatic, not another task on your to-do list. Start with three friends and watch what happens.