"How do you stay so positive all the time?" my former college roommate asked, with genuine confusion.
Smiling, I knew my answer would sound deceptively simple: "Happiness is contagious."
The Unconventional Truth About Happiness
Recent MIT Sloan research tracking nearly a million U.S. Army soldiers over five years shattered conventional wisdom about happiness. Researchers discovered that happiness doesn’t merely correlate with success—it predicts it.1 Happy soldiers outperformed their unhappy peers by a staggering margin, earning four times as many awards.
But here's the surprising part: happiness isn't a solo journey, it's viral. Your mood directly impacts people you've never even met, up to three connections away.
The Contrarian Take on Happiness
Most of us believe success creates happiness. Earn more, achieve more, and happiness will follow. This study flips the script. Happiness isn't the prize at the end, it's the catalyst at the beginning.
What's the catch? It spreads through active engagement, not passive scrolling or occasional check-ins. True happiness, in order to spread, requires intentional, repeated connections.
How I Made Happiness Contagious
Years ago, I nearly lost touch with a close friend. It wasn't until a random call revealed he'd almost died that I realized how fragile these connections can be. Without intentional effort, we don't have the ability to positively influence those around us.
This insight drove me to stop leaving my relationships (and my happiness) to chance. Here’s what I learned:
Contrarian Rule 1: Micro-Interactions Over Big Gestures
Dramatic reunions and grand gestures don’t sustain relationships or happiness. Quick voice messages sent weekly to a friend during my morning coffee did more for our relationship, and my happiness, than annual weekend visits ever could.
Contrarian Rule 2: Intentional Timing Isn’t Luck
Recently, I messaged a friend exactly one day before they were unexpectedly passing through my city. Because of the timing, they ended up staying with me, and we shared an unforgettable dinner at my favorite local taco spot, a spontaneous, joyful experience I couldn’t have anticipated. This wasn't due to luck, it was due to making connection into a practice.
Contrarian Rule 3: Systems Beat Willpower
We mistakenly rely on memory and intentions to maintain relationships, and spread happiness. They inevitably fail. I found success in creating a system that automatically reminded me to nurture connections, ensuring happiness didn't depend on my flawed memory.
Contrarian Rule 4: Authenticity Over Positivity
We assume happiness requires constant positivity. But authentic connections, even sharing struggles, actually spread deeper levels of connection than superficial positivity. Genuine conversations are contagious in their authenticity, not positivity.
Rethinking Happiness as a Strategy
My simple, structured approach evolved into Soonly, a system designed to facilitate consistent, genuine connections. This has led to dramatically more connections, spontaneity, and spreading happiness than I ever could have imagined. This isn't about luck—it's about intentional choices.
Happiness isn’t just an emotion—it’s a contagious decision.
What choice will you make today?
Ready to turn "let’s catch up" into real connections that spread happiness? Try Soonly, and make happiness contagious.